One of the hardest (no pun intended) thing a fan of female muscle will ever have to do is pick their favourite muscle women. For me, this changes so much that to attempt to do so almost brings me to the point of existential crisis. Debi Laszewski, who I listed as my favourite for years, would possibly not make my top 50 now, not through any fault of her own, but rather because of all the emerging talent in recent years. So while an official top 10 would probably consume my thoughts so much that it would result in my productivity at work hitting an all-time low, here is a non-committal ‘ten of the best’. Apart from the first three, who, as it stands, would be my top three (roughly in the correct order, but again this changes), the rest of the list are in no particular order and there may be others whom I have neglected to include, who probably could be on the list, but may just not have entered my head initially. I would definitely stand by anyone on this list though. In some cases they are there because they are just a favourite in general, but some may be there because of something particularly appealing about their personality/character or down to an interaction or communication I may have had with them that gave me a soft spot for them. Another condition of note. This list is for ACTIVE athletes only. In other words, women who are either definitely still active or are believed to have taken a step back, but we hope may yet be back. Ergo, legends like Kim Chizevsky, Lenda Murray, Bev Francis, Melissa Coates, Tina Lockwood etc, will not be included. I have also excluded women who are still active and may have been among my favourites when huge, but have made a decision to slim down. So no place for the magnificent Georgina McConnell, who in her past shape was in serious contention to become ‘the sexiest woman who ever drew breath’ in my eyes, but while still incredible, does not currently have the size I typically go for. Okay, here goes nothing.
What can I say about this incredible Canadian muscle babe? Even thinking about her is enough for me to go into a blind panic that I’ll start ‘showing’ at an inappropriate time. The woman oozes sex appeal from every orifice of her ridiculously musclebound body. Not just for physical reasons, but because of her wit and personality and feisty attitude. Do not mess with this woman, she doesn’t suffer fools gladly and if her hilarious bodybuilding rants are anything to go by, she would not be one bit shy about telling guys prone to bouts of assholism in the gym, where to go. I did try to make contact with Heidi on FB to see if she had any interest in being profiled/ interviewed on my blog. I heard nothing back and am honestly not surprised. To the best of my knowledge, Heidi has no involvement in or inclination towards the ‘muscle worship’ side of bodybuilding, so I’m not sure that she’d be the biggest fan of schmoe culture. I totally get that, bodybuilding is a sport after all and the extra-curricular side of it is not something that everyone is comfortable with. It’s not my fault though that she’s one of the hottest women on this (or any other) planet! :)
The only American on this list, Aleesha is here for the very simple reason that she has incredible muscles. She doesn’t give memorable interviews, she doesn’t blow anyone away with creative posing on stage, her webcams are standard enough, as far as I know she doesn’t do sessions, but she has the sexiest, most well-proportioned muscles around. If you’re into muscle women, one thing that can be guaranteed is instant arousal. Her muscles are incredible and any list of top muscle women from a fan point of view, would be farcical without her.
Chleo Van Wyk
The only person originally from the continent of Africa on the list, Chleo is definitely my biggest crush of anyone on the list. She is the total package. Stunning girl next door good looks, including the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Gargantuan muscles, strength that has to be seen to be believed and charisma you can almost taste. Chleo has it all. The Australian based amazon comes across as an absolute sweetheart as well. Her bear hugs would send most men to the hospital (if not the morgue), yet you get the vibe she’d be much more likely to give you a cuddle. Primarily a powerlifter/strongwoman, on the rare occasions where she is in bodybuilder mode, her cutting is impressive and she looks divine. I prefer the powerlifter look (on Chleo, not necessarily on everyone) as it is more natural and easy to maintain. The way she carries her bulk is very impressive. Chleo is one of the sexiest women on this list and definitely the most beautiful. The only fault I can think of with Chleo is that she lives too far away for there to be a realistic chance of me ever meeting her. Ah well, a man can dream right?
Robin Hillis (Dee)
Okay, I think my heart has stopped pounding enough to move on to the second Canadian on a list where they dominate. What can I say about Robin Hillis? She simply is a she hulk. Few women look so incredible in skin tight tops. If the sight of her veins bursting through her training gear doesn’t make you hard as a schmoe, nothing will. While facially not a classic beauty, her smile accentuates her raw sex appeal, another woman who has the ‘nice’ thing going on, Robin is, as well as an incredibly attractive woman, a great athlete and as unassuming woman. Well worthy of a place on this list.
Those Canadian beefcakes just keep on coming and few are as sexy and awe inspiring as Julie. My favourite for many years, she is still comfortably inside my top 10, hovering in about 5th or 6th place. In terms of her vids though, few can challenge her for sheer hard-on inducing sex appeal. If her vascular, quad-tastic performance as’ Dynamo’ doesn’t get your volcano erupting, then her clumsy car washing skills when she accidentally on purpose lathers her impossible body with soap, will. That’s not to even mention those awesome vids of her posing in the gym and the bedroom. If Chleo is the woman I’d most like to date, then Julie is definitely the one I’ve fantasised about most over the years. Working in the social care sector, she is another sweetheart who has a huge heart to match those gigantic muscles. Rumour has it she has always found getting a man difficult, which makes you despair at the sanity of the male species. If you’re ever in Ireland Julie…
This Greek goddess is more impressive and difficult to believe than any of the myths that her country is famous for. For me, one of the best combinations of awe inspiring beauty and hulking mass, Basia won’t be long getting your motor running. A natural on stage and great at revving up the fans, I hope this magnificent beauty has her glorious muscles on display for many years to come.
Last but certainly not least of our Canadian entries, Gillian is one classy lady. Currently on a break from competitive bodybuilding, she still webcams. An intelligent, deep and very articulate lady, she has strong boundaries and is clear about what is on offer in webcams. Her pec bounces are the best in the business and her feisty yet sweet personality will win her a lot of hearts. An absolute gem of a human being, regardless of whether her future lies inside or outside of bodybuilding, I will certainly be rooting for her.
Just in case I was beginning to look like a bitter, sectarian Irishman, disgruntled about our history of colonialism and the continued occupation of our fourth green field, I thought it was about time to put my first Brit on the list. What a brit to start with. Muscles that would put most men to shame and an in your face sex appeal that would make even the most naughty of porn stars look like kids TV presenters. Her videos on Awefilms are total wankfests. There is no way you can watch this goddess, pose, flex, masturbate and talk dirty, without getting turned on. Her somewhat mixed, session reviews are probably more down to unrealistic fan expectations than anything she has done wrong. I for one was kicking myself when bad budgeting recently made me have to cancel a planned session with her. Lisa is an incredible athlete, but also a shrewd businesswoman, she knows she is in demand and knows how to utilise her incredible muscles and natural sensuality to titillate and get men to empty their wallets. The moral arguments over the sexual side of the business will rage on, but Lisa didn’t create it and it’s not her fault she excels at it, A woman whose background story of overcoming an eating disorder is an inspiring example of triumph of adversity. A published e-book author, you get the sense there is a lot more to this musclebound stunner than meets the eye. A very classy, sexy and intriguing woman.
A bit like buses, you wait ages for one Brit and two come at once (steady boys steady). Rene has transformed herself from an already very sexy but thin endurance athlete to an absolute tank. Her granite like pecs, skull crushing quads and sensational biceps are enough to cure impotence, a naturally beautiful woman to boot, her story is inspiring. Told last year to give up bodybuilding forever after a health scare, Rene refused to give up on her muscles and has continued on. Supposedly about to finish up competing soon, it remains to be seen whether this retirement will be permanent and or signal the end of her muscles. Given the importance she has placed on her physique in the years since she took up the sport, a complete step back from heavy duty weight training seems very unlikely. A proud mother to two boys who have reportedly embraced her lifestyle, she seems a very grounded, kind and intelligent woman.
The second Australian based and only native Aussie muscle goddess on this list, Christine really knows how to excite. The queen of the most muscular, she took the bodybuiliding world by storm in the early noughties before retiring from competition for a while. Thankfully she returned a few years ago and though slightly smaller but more ripped than before, she still looks obscenely amazing. She’s no stranger to displaying her acting chops either. Her performance in ‘The Growth Experiment’ as the murderous, sadistic and downright evil alter-ego of a disturbed and frustrated scientist was disconcertingly erotic. As she effortlessly and mercilessly murdered two men with her muscles and destroyed heavy weight plates, she revelled in her sheer invincibility and I must say, I honestly found myself more than a little turned on. Of course no one is really that strong and fortunately the bubbly and upbeat Australian seems a much friendlier and more forgiving person than the hulking psychopath she played on screen. Nonetheless, with her freakish strength and power, I still won’t attempt to cross her.
There you go, that’s that list done. This list is not my definitive top ten but certainly ten worthy of being considered for inclusion. Honourable mentions that I decided at the last minute not to include, are the sweetheart that is Emery Miller, Trinidadian muscle beauty Kashma Maharaj, the breathtakingly vascular Isabelle Turrel, the impossibly lovely Rachel Reid and the magnificent Margie Martin. Considering how fine the margins for inclusion on this list were, it’s more than likely you will be seeing ten more of the best soon. Apologies for the lack of visuals, I’m still playing around with the mechanics a bit and am wary of any potential copyright issues, but any of you who may not be familiar with some people on my list, you will find a wealth of photos on google. Peace out fellow muscle lovers.