The Nifty Fifty: Part Three

So, having put together two 'Ten of the Best' lists and still finding them woefully inadequate, I have decided to broaden my horizons and expand out into a 'nifty fifty'. While it's not inconceivable that some gaps may still exist, so spoilt for choice are us schmoes these days, certainly a list of 50 of the world's most amazing women-in no particular order, solves a lot of problems. That is not to say there won't be some incredibly sexy women who won't make the list, but I hope that any woman reading this who may feel aggrieved at not making this list will see there is no shame in losing out to some of the world class muscle babes on this list. By definition, parts 1 and 2 have been covered, so without further adieu here is part 3 of my Nifty Fifty.

Natalia Trukhina
The most glaring omission from the first two lists, the pain in my forehead from face-palming myself to oblivion for overlooking her was my main motivation for expanding the list out. Just how this magnificent muscle goddess escaped my mind the first two times is beyond me. If you love it big, this vision of hyper-muscular utopia should be a cert in your top 5, let alone top 10. The woman is just a super-human hulking beast of red hot muscle.  Extra loose fitting trousers are a necessity when this goddess is on your screen. I did a webcam with her last week and she plays the role of the dominant she hulk to perfection. Her most-musculars are from a different planet and it's definitely an idea to perfect one handed typing if you are going to partake in a webcam with her. She knows how horny her muscles make us and she loves it.

Heather Foster
Either an African American or Caribbean depending on your perspective, this beautiful beefcake was born in one Jamaica (the country) and brought up in another (a district of New York) . As much as her magnificent musculature is guaranteed to arouse any schmoe, any interview with this remarkable athlete shows she is a sweetheart to boot. An absolute must for all fans of hard-core feminine muscle

Brigita Brezovac
This Slovenian muscle machine is almost guaranteed to make any schmoe as hard as her breathtaking muscles. The mesmerising amazon beauty, last time I checked was on a break following  the birth of her child, but hopefully it won't be long before this goddess is back rocking it on stage and reminding us schmoes just why female muscle drives us crazy.

Theresa Ivancik
Muscles aside, this beauty would drive any man crazy, proof that gargantuan musculature need not necessarily detract from facial beauty. As beautiful as her face and as mind-blowingly sexual as her muscles are, the Ivancik story is also very inspiring. Another who has struggled with eating disorders and overcome it. Not only has she overcome this very serious issue, but she has challenged perceptions of physical beauty. Not only one of the sexiest women you will ever see, but very inspirational too.

Helle (Nielsen) Trevino
After a few years out due to injury, this densely muscled Dane has taken no prisoners since. 2nd place in the 2015 and 4th in 2016 WOS Phoenix Rising competitions, Helle is not only a hit weith the fans but can hold her own with the judges as well. Long may it continue, because while this 41 year old amazon is getting success on the stage, the incentive is there for her to continue wowing us muscle-lusting schmoes with her other worldly physique.

Michelle E. Russell
The E here is important so that you don't wind up googling some psychic, who probably doesn't look as good in a skin tight tee shirt. This Canadian beefcake, at 35, is still quite young and sure to be around for a few years yet. Just as well too, because we sure can't get enough of her glorious muscles. With granite like pecs that put most men to shame, this goddess has a body that has to be seen to be believed.  A hit on the webcam circuit due to her killer body, cheeky smile and infectious energy, you may need a cold shower after looking at the affable Canadian. Then you'll dry yourself off and come back for more.

Monique Jones
This African American beauty has muscles  that belong in a museum, so out of this world are they. Oozing sex appeal from every muscle packed orifice, Monique sure knows how to excite. Chances are, whether male or female, your muscles are far smaller and less impressive than hers. Don't feel bad though, just sit back enjoy the show and let her show you what real beauty and power is. You may need the loose fitting trousers here too.

Kim Perez
Another African-American muscle machine, Kim is renowned for having one of the best upper-bodies you will ever see. Some more picky types may nitpick about her lower body, but if anything on that Amazonian physique of hers strikes you as small, then you badly need your eyesight checked. If her lower body appears 'small' (I mean seriously man, let's see your legs) it is only a matter of perspective. When your upper body is as magnificently massive as Kim's is, of course her lower body may appear smaller by comparison. All in all though, she is still a beautiful she hulk with muscles most men would kill for. This coupled with her unassuming nature and angelic smile, makes her an instant hit with any real fan of female muscle.

Heather (Policky) Armbrust
If Kim is known for her upper body, then this super sexy quad queen does the job south of the border. Her legs look like they could crush bowling balls, not to mind fruit.  The striations on her beautifully bronzed tree trunks would send any sexually healthy schmoe into a state of pants staining euphoria. One of the most confident and erotic fbbs out there, this regular of Awefilms and other such video sites also knows how to rock the webcam. No doubt thousands of proverbial chickens were choked to this beauty over the years. Again though as epic as her legs are, the rest of her is pretty awesome too her pecs and arms are large enough to need their own are code and she is model standard beautiful to boot. If you love female muscle, you have to check out this goddess!

Lisa Giesbrecht
Another of the many reasons that has me wishing I was Canadian rather than Irish, this northern powerhouse is a glorious combination of model good looks and power-packed, vascular perfection. This jaw dropping beauty has schmoes everywhere drooling and swooning. A prime example, for my money up with the likes of Julie Bourassa and Gina Davis in her day , of a fbb as sexy in off season bulk as she is in all her ripped, contest ready glory. (Believe me, this is very rare) No schmoe  worth his salt could get enough of this beautiful blonde beast.

Well there you go, we are now three-fifths of the way through my celebration of the sexiest muscle babes on the planet. Somehow I managed to complete this post without giving myself a heart attack, so stay tuned for the last two instalments soon.

Disclaimer: No chickens were harmed in the writing of this post.

Ten More of The Best

Having read back on the last list and having realised how many more people could have potentially made it, I have decided to do another list, ten more of the best. While this will include the others given honourable mentions, it will not be limited to them.

Emery Miller
This musclebound sweetheart is originally American, but now lives in England. A late starter in the world of bodybuilding, she turned to the weights in her mid 30s after long struggles with her weight and self esteem. It is hard to believe that this goddess of granite was ever anything but a total hard bod. Her vids are guaranteed to make any man hard, but as well as that, Emery has to be one of the nicest people in the business. Her willingness to have riveting, full blown conversations with anyone in her free webcams, probably has cost her some money over the years., but with her natural sex appeal and off the chart charisma, her sessions are still in demand. I was heartbroken lately to read that this wonderful lady was subjected to vile abuse because of her muscles, while doing late night shopping. A sickening reminder of how cruel and classless some people can be.

Isabelle Turrel
Not putting this absolute stunner on my first list was a big decision, she easily could have made it, but I was adamant from the start that her, Kashma Maharaj, Rene Campbell and Christine Envall would all be on the list, so when it came down to two spaces left on the list, two had to be reluctantly omitted. Isabelle was one One of the sexiest and definitely one of the most vascular FBBs you will ever see, Isabelle never fails to arouse. Being sexy comes so naturally to her, I don't think it is possible for her not to be. Everytime I see a picture of Isabelle's super hard, super ripped body, I'm like a child in a sweet shop. Oh and a special mention to that awe-inspiring ass. If not the best in the business, it is definitely up there.

Kashma Maharaj
The other reluctant omission from the first list, this Carribean delight can harden a schmoe, just by opening her mouth. The beautiful accent and sensual tones is almost guaranteed to make your cream rise to the top, if you get my drift. The Trinidadian muscle machine has more sex appeal than you can shake a stick at. Her muscles belong in a museum and her Awefilms videos shows how much she loves playing the dom. Hard to think of anything negative to say about this total goddess.

Rachel Reid
Rachel Reid should be illegal. How can anyone so sweet and impossibly nice also be that sexy? It's insane. A face not dis-similar to Heather Graham's, she is a classic beauty, with muscles most men could only dream about. Her Pecs have very few rivals and her decision to stick to hard and natural is one that few schmoes could be disappointed about. Implants work for some women but they always risk the aesthetic. A passionate advocate for people with disabilities, a nutritionist and all round sweetheart, this American muscle beauty is proof that nice people don't always finish last. She is as admirable and inspiring as she is alluring. A real gem.

Alina Popa
This Massive Romanian, I'm ashamed to say, completely slipped my mind for the first list. This alone is proof of how spoilt for choice, us schmoes are. Huge and massive, but also extremely sensual, this swiss based bombshell has it all. Considered a future miss Olympia until the IFBB decided that women who were too muscular gave them the jitters, this stunner has competition prowess to match her physical appeal. A favourite for many schmoes and fans, she is a true pin up.

Elena Oana Hreapca
Alina was not the only gorgrous Romanian to somehow slip my mind, this sensual ball of muscle also somehow slipped through the crack. Her most musculars are the stuff of legends and few can match her for facial beauty. This tank is one of the sexiest out there.

Jacqueline (Jay) Fuchs
Another that had me shaking my head when I realised I had forgotten her. This Swiss goddess is proof that Switzerland has indeed, given the world more, than chocolate, cuckoo clocks, neutrality and skiing. This woman exhudes sex appeal from every square inch of her muscle packed body. A bad picture of her has yet to surface and I suspect it never will, a near perfect combination of femininity and bulk, if you truly love muscle, then you have to love Jay. simple as.

Margie V Martin
The only African American to make this list (Kashma is Trinidadian incase you missed it), the winner of the 2016 Wings of Strength Phoenix Rising event is unquestionably one of the sexiest in the sport. A smile that could light a room and muscles that are almost cartoonish in dimension, Margie has won a lot of fans in recent years. Of many great African American competitors (the relative lack of them on this list is again down to the huge level of choice out there.), she is among the cream of the crop.

Virginia Sanchez Macias
This Spanish amazon has to be seen to be believed. Her ruby red lips seem strangely juxtapposed to her shaved head and epic musculature, which make must US Marines look like schoolgirls by comparison. Her sheer size means she is not every so called fan's cup of tea but is one of the favourites for those of us who love them big. If you want it big and beefy, Virginia never disappoints.

Yaxeni Oriquen-Garcia
The only Latin American entry, the 2005 Ms Olympia is another favourite for schmoes and muscle lovers everywhere. Her combination of beauty, class and prime beef are sheer heaven for those of us who go weak at the knees for muscular women. No bad pictures of this Venezuean stunner exist. Another who oozes sex appeal without even trying.



So there you go, another list that went some way towards filling in gaps that were left in the first list. Nonetheless, I have no doubt there are some glaring omissions, as I write this I'm noticing the absence of Theresa Ivancik, but who do I take out to make room? Heather Foster was about to earn inclusion until I realised I already had 10. I'm still wondering how I can overlook Megan Abshire, Heather Armbrust, Nuriye Evans and Brigita Brezovac to name but a few. Maybe a third list will emerge soon, or maybe I'll just except there are too many sexy muscle women to choose from and that us Schmoes just can't make up our minds. :)

Ten of the Best

One of the hardest (no pun intended) thing a fan of female muscle will ever have to do is pick their favourite muscle women. For me, this changes so much that to attempt to do so almost brings me to the point of existential crisis. Debi Laszewski, who I listed as my favourite for years, would possibly not make my top 50 now, not through any fault of her own, but rather because of all the emerging talent in recent years. So while an official top 10 would probably consume my thoughts so much that it would result in my productivity at work hitting an all-time low, here is a non-committal ‘ten of the best’. Apart from the first three, who, as it stands, would be my top three (roughly in the correct order, but again this changes), the rest of the list are in no particular order and there may be others whom I have neglected to include, who probably could be on the list, but may just not have entered my head initially. I would definitely stand by anyone on this list though. In some cases they are there because they are just a favourite in general, but some may be there because of something particularly appealing about their personality/character or down to an interaction or communication I may have had with them that gave me a soft spot for them. Another condition of note. This list is for ACTIVE athletes only. In other words, women who are either definitely still active or are believed to have taken a step back, but we hope may yet be back. Ergo, legends like Kim Chizevsky, Lenda Murray, Bev Francis, Melissa Coates, Tina Lockwood etc, will not be included. I have also excluded women who are still active and may have been among my favourites when huge, but have made a decision to slim down. So no place for the magnificent Georgina McConnell, who in her past shape was in serious contention to become ‘the sexiest woman who ever drew breath’ in my eyes, but while still incredible, does not currently have the size I typically go for. Okay, here goes nothing.

Heidi Krochter

What can I say about this incredible Canadian muscle babe? Even thinking about her is enough for me to go into a blind panic that I’ll start ‘showing’ at an inappropriate time. The woman oozes sex appeal from every orifice of her ridiculously musclebound body. Not just for physical reasons, but because of her wit and personality and feisty attitude. Do not mess with this woman, she doesn’t suffer fools gladly and if her hilarious bodybuilding rants are anything to go by, she would not be one bit shy about telling guys prone to bouts of assholism in the gym, where to go. I did try to make contact with Heidi on FB to see if she had any interest in being profiled/ interviewed on my blog. I heard nothing back and am honestly not surprised. To the best of my knowledge, Heidi has no involvement in or inclination towards the ‘muscle worship’ side of bodybuilding, so I’m not sure that she’d be the biggest fan of schmoe culture. I totally get that, bodybuilding is a sport after all and the extra-curricular side of it is not something that everyone is comfortable with. It’s not my fault though that she’s one of the hottest women on this (or any other) planet! :)

Aleesha Young

The only American on this list, Aleesha is here for the very simple reason that she has incredible muscles. She doesn’t give memorable interviews, she doesn’t blow anyone away with creative posing on stage, her webcams are standard enough, as far as I know she doesn’t do sessions, but she has the sexiest, most well-proportioned muscles around. If you’re into muscle women, one thing that can be guaranteed is instant arousal. Her muscles are incredible and any list of top muscle women from a fan point of view, would be farcical without her.

Chleo Van Wyk

The only person originally from the continent of Africa on the list, Chleo is definitely my biggest crush of anyone on the list. She is the total package. Stunning girl next door good looks, including the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Gargantuan muscles, strength that has to be seen to be believed and charisma you can almost taste. Chleo has it all. The Australian based amazon comes across as an absolute sweetheart as well. Her bear hugs would send most men to the hospital (if not the morgue), yet you get the vibe she’d be much more likely to give you a cuddle. Primarily a powerlifter/strongwoman, on the rare occasions where she is in bodybuilder mode, her cutting is impressive and she looks divine. I prefer the powerlifter look (on Chleo, not necessarily on everyone) as it is more natural and easy to maintain. The way she carries her bulk is very impressive. Chleo is one of the sexiest women on this list and definitely the most beautiful.  The only fault I can think of with Chleo is that she lives too far away for there to be a realistic chance of me ever meeting her. Ah well, a man can dream right?

Robin Hillis (Dee)

Okay, I think my heart has stopped pounding enough to move on to the second Canadian on a list where they dominate. What can I say about Robin Hillis? She simply is a she hulk. Few women look so incredible in skin tight tops. If the sight of her veins bursting through her training gear doesn’t make you hard as a schmoe, nothing will. While facially not a classic beauty, her smile accentuates her raw sex appeal, another woman who has the ‘nice’ thing going on, Robin is, as well as an incredibly attractive woman, a great athlete and as unassuming woman. Well worthy of a place on this list.

Julie Bourassa

Those Canadian beefcakes just keep on coming and few are as sexy and awe inspiring as Julie. My favourite for many years, she is still comfortably inside my top 10, hovering in about 5^th or 6^th place. In terms of her vids though, few can challenge her for sheer hard-on inducing sex appeal. If her vascular, quad-tastic performance as’ Dynamo’ doesn’t get your volcano erupting, then her clumsy car washing skills when she accidentally on purpose lathers her impossible body with soap, will. That’s not to even mention those awesome vids of her posing in the gym and the bedroom. If Chleo is the woman I’d most like to date, then Julie is definitely the one I’ve fantasised about most over the years. Working in the social care sector, she is another sweetheart who has a huge heart to match those gigantic muscles. Rumour has it she has always found getting a man difficult, which makes you despair at the sanity of the male species. If you’re ever in Ireland Julie…

Basia Dimitraki

This Greek goddess is more impressive and difficult to believe than any of the myths that her country is famous for. For me, one of the best combinations of awe inspiring beauty and hulking mass, Basia won’t be long getting your motor running. A natural on stage and great at revving up the fans, I hope this magnificent beauty has her glorious muscles on display for many years to come.

Gillian Kovack

Last but certainly not least of our Canadian entries, Gillian is one classy lady. Currently on a break from competitive bodybuilding, she still webcams. An intelligent, deep and very articulate lady, she has strong boundaries and is clear about what is on offer in webcams. Her pec bounces are the best in the business and her feisty yet sweet personality will win her a lot of hearts. An absolute gem of a human being, regardless of whether her future lies inside or outside of bodybuilding, I will certainly be rooting for her.

Lisa Cross

Just in case I was beginning to look like a bitter, sectarian Irishman, disgruntled about our history of colonialism and the continued occupation of our fourth green field, I thought it was about time to put my first Brit on the list. What a brit to start with. Muscles that would put most men to shame and an in your face sex appeal that would make even the most naughty of porn stars look like kids TV presenters. Her videos on Awefilms are total wankfests. There is no way you can watch this goddess, pose, flex, masturbate and talk dirty, without getting turned on. Her somewhat mixed, session reviews are probably more down to unrealistic fan expectations than anything she has done wrong. I for one was kicking myself when bad budgeting recently made me have to cancel a planned session with her. Lisa is an incredible athlete, but also a shrewd businesswoman, she knows she is in demand and knows how to utilise her incredible muscles and natural sensuality to titillate and get men to empty their wallets. The moral arguments over the sexual side of the business will rage on, but Lisa didn’t create it and it’s not her fault she excels at it, A woman whose background story of overcoming an eating disorder is an inspiring example of triumph of adversity. A published e-book author, you get the sense there is a lot more to this musclebound stunner than meets the eye. A very classy, sexy and intriguing woman.

Rene Campbell

A bit like buses, you wait ages for one Brit and two come at once (steady boys steady). Rene has transformed herself from an already very sexy but thin endurance athlete to an absolute tank. Her granite like pecs, skull crushing quads and sensational biceps are enough to cure impotence, a naturally beautiful woman to boot, her story is inspiring. Told last year to give up bodybuilding forever after a health scare, Rene refused to give up on her muscles and has continued on. Supposedly about to finish up competing soon, it remains to be seen whether this retirement will be permanent and or signal the end of her muscles. Given the importance she has placed on her physique in the years since she took up the sport, a complete step back from heavy duty weight training seems very unlikely. A proud mother to two boys who have reportedly embraced her lifestyle, she seems a very grounded, kind and intelligent woman.

Christine Envall

The second Australian based and only native Aussie muscle goddess on this list, Christine really knows how to excite. The queen of the most muscular, she took the bodybuiliding world by storm in the early noughties before retiring from competition for a while. Thankfully she returned a few years ago and though slightly smaller but more ripped than before, she still looks obscenely amazing. She’s no stranger to displaying her acting chops either. Her performance in ‘The Growth Experiment’ as the murderous, sadistic and downright evil alter-ego of a disturbed and frustrated scientist was disconcertingly erotic. As she effortlessly and mercilessly murdered two men with her muscles and destroyed heavy weight plates, she revelled in her sheer invincibility and I must say, I honestly found myself more than a little turned on. Of course no one is really that strong and fortunately the bubbly and upbeat Australian seems a much friendlier and more forgiving person than the hulking psychopath she played on screen. Nonetheless, with her freakish strength and power, I still won’t attempt to cross her.

There you go, that’s that list done. This list is not my definitive top ten but certainly ten worthy of being considered for inclusion. Honourable mentions that I decided at the last minute not to include,  are  the sweetheart that is Emery Miller, Trinidadian muscle beauty Kashma Maharaj, the breathtakingly vascular Isabelle Turrel, the impossibly lovely Rachel Reid and the magnificent Margie Martin. Considering how fine the margins for inclusion on this list were, it’s more than likely you will be seeing ten more of the best soon. Apologies for the lack of visuals, I’m still playing around with the mechanics a bit and am wary of any potential copyright issues, but any of you who may not be familiar with some people on my list, you will find a wealth of photos on google. Peace out fellow muscle lovers.